90 days?

90 days... This is my promise. What exactly does this mean? Well, for some time now I have secretly struggled to better myself, to become what I desire inside to be on the outside. It is no secret that all of us at some point or another want to become something other than ourselves. Something greater, something better, something more significant. I have eluded previously that I have had this inside me and while great personal progress has been made, the circle is still incomplete. I have felt before that I receive momentary windows of clarity and I have received one today. I won't explain the circumstances that have brought me to this point but I will explain the next steps I will take. I would also like to note that I currently have a great life. There are very few things that I need or even want and by many standards I lead an over privleged and successful existence. However, this is not what this is about. It is not about whether someone thinks I have it all or are envious of things I have done. I have slowly learned that gratitude will only take you so far. It is wonderful to be thought of highly by family and friends but it ultimately doesn't change how you see yourself. I should also state that I don't have some sort of existing complex where I think poorly or negatively of myself. I am happy and I am proud, but that doesn't mean that there is more. I am looking to transform myself into a great friend, the best son, the most loving boyfriend, and the finest individual I can be. It is increasingly painful to live a life that is not representative externally of the life that is living internally and 90 days is just the beginning. My focus for this time is to cleanse myself of things that poison me, to seek spiritual guidance in all its forms and to strive toward my physical peak. I do not expect that this period will bring a permanent existence but I do expect it to place me onto my destined path. It will start with clearing my body of food that is counterproductive to my health, of alcohol, of any form of nicotine and any other substance that will poison my progress. If I set myself on this path, the rest should take care of itself. Wanting it is easy, but doing this, well, that will be absolutely torturous. I will make notes on here along the way to document this journey. There will be unlimited opportunities to stop myself from progress but I will try to endure each battle and each session of pain in order to reach the strongest mental, physical and spiritual state that I have ever seen. It begins in 5 days. good luck.